Live Ewe is just E-Weevil Spelled Backwards
by theguywhohasaname
Summary: The digidestined are confronted with a new enemy and have to stop sleeping (with each other) and go fight him, while avoiding Yolei's strangely disturbing sudden burts of singing... Yaoi, lotsa humor, and many weird things. R+R!!!
1. Judecca's Entrance and Strange Happening...

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHEeee...Hoooooo..... *Passes out*  
  
*Awakens to find his mom staring at him. "Get up. You're on top of the cat." *Stands up* "Oops... Sorry, kitty... Um..." *Finds a shovel and scrapes the cat off the ground* "Well... I got a bit of an energy rush there... But, then, it's 5 AM, I have eaten a box of cheez-its (I just know I mispelled that) and drank a whole lot of kool-aid that contained waaaaaay too much sugar. And I got a rather strange idea. I am going to write another fic, but, unlike most of my other 50+ fics, it will NOT be concerning the gundam pilots in any way. Just the digimon characters, which I have recently become obsessed with _AGAIN_, and a character of my own creation (partially inspired by a video game character, same first name, too), my alternate personality, Judecca Adlehnder Gunner! The mysterious, all-powerful guns expert capable of just about anything... The villain. And now, with no further interruptions..." *Is hit by a broom* "Oops. Sorry... I just... And then... Um... Uh... OOOOOHHH!! A kitty!" *The authors sister is seen running towards the flatter-than-a-pancake cat, and then the gundam pilots crowd around the computer* "Er... Oh, my head... Ouch... HEY! I said this wouldn't concern you! GO AWAY!" One quick note before I begin the fic... See, I'm apparently a very talented writer. When I write my fics, they don't seem so great, but then I post them, and people love them, and I go back and read them and like them... Anyways, I have found that I almost never manage to make a fic completely serious. I have one fic that I've written that didn't involve too much humor. My point is... Well, I don't know that I have a point, but this is a many-genred fic. Humor, horror, romance, perhaps a bit of action, and maybe a few other things. Just read it, like it, and review it, kay? And here 'tis....  
  
  
  
Tai wandered around, with no apparent destination, throughout the asylum. (No, he didn't go crazy, he works there) "Well... Um... I guess everything is done. I'll just... Go home. Or maybe I'll go by Matt's place... Yeah... Matt... Maaaaaaaatt....." Tai is then spotted drooling, staring off into space 1/2 an hour later by a... Er... Um... Somebody else who works there. "Hey, you! Stop drooling and go home." Tai snapped back to reality and left the asylum. Not too much later, as it wasn't a very far walk, he arrived at Matt's place. He knocked on the door and stood there for a few seconds until Matt finally opened the door. "Oh, hi, Tai." Tai greeted Matt and then stepped inside. "Any particular reason you're here, or you just wanna hang out or something?" Matt asked. "Well, I was finishing up my work at the nuthouse when I got a mental image of you nake... Um... No particular reason."  
  
*** Across town at Davis' house... ***  
  
"Ooh, Ken..." Davis moaned. "Oh, that's good, Davis." Ken replied. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Davis asked. "Oh, yes..." "Ooooh.... Oooooooh.... OH!" Davis moaned. "Ha! Checkmate!" Ken yelled triumphantly, moved a chess piece across the board. "Take that!" Ken grinned. "Well, I have to admit, you did pretty good... But you wouldn't have won if I hadn't let you win." Davis said. Ken laughed. "Yeah, right, Davis. You tried and tried, but I was better than you. Just admit it." Davis stuck his tongue out at Ken. Ken moved quickly and caught Davis' tongue with his lips, and then stuck his own tongue into Davis' mouth. A few minutes later, just when the two boys were helping each other undress, singing was heard from outside Davis' door. "La lala la laaaaaa.... I am now at the door, about to come in for no apparent reason whatsoever." Davis' mom informed the rooms occupants. "I've got the doorknob turned 7 1/2 degrees now... And now I've got it turned the rest of the way... I'm coming in now, once again, for no apparent reason, and would be very shocked if I happened to find something out of the ordinary such as two boys, one of them being my son, in bed together... And now I'm opening the door... And..." Then Davis' mother walked into the room and began to dust several objects in the room. Somehow she managed to not turn towards Davis' bed even once, and left without so much as glancing at it and its two occupants.  
  
"Wow... It's a good thing she didn't look over here." Ken muttered. "Yeah. I can't believe we spilled grapejuice on our clothes..." Ken shrugged. "Oh, well, nothing we can do about it except change clothes." Davis nodded his head, and the two boys continued undressing and then dressed in clean clothes untouched by purple, very-hard-to-remove-from-clothing liquids. "If she'd looked over here, she might have even thought we were having sex or something." Ken said, and Davis laughed at the idea. "Yeah, as if we'd ever do that. Soooo.... You wanna have sex?"  
  
*** The next day, at the asylum... ***  
  
"Well... Another day of work... This sucks. I want to stop working. I wonder if I could move in with Matt... That way, I could stop working. And... If he let me move in with him... It could mean that he likes me in the same way I like him... Or it could just mean hat he's letting me move in because I'm a friend. Or he might not let me move in at all, and then I'd have to keep working... I hate working! Hey, I'm not supposed to be here, where am I?" Tai looked around and saw that he was in an entirely new area of the asylum that he had never been to before. "Well... I guess it doesn't matter where I am... But... How do I get back?" Tai wandered around, looking for an exit, and then tripped over something. "Hey, what the?!" Tai looked to see what he had tripped over, and saw that it was a grey boot with a strange green design on the side.  
  
"Huh? Who are you? Do you work here?" Tai asked, standing up and turning towards the owner of the boot. "Not exactly." The man replied. Tai quickly examined the man. He had platinum colored hair, black, thin-framed glasses, he wore black jeans and a soft light yellow (meaning the color was soft as opposed to 'look-at-me-im-bright-frikkin-yellow', not that the shirt was soft and fuzzy) shirt. Some kind of brown amulet hung from the mans neck, with a large, round green jewel of some kind in the center. The man also wore something resembling a cape, only it started from a little above the waist instead of up on his shoulders. The man reached up and adjusted his glasses before he continued to speak. "You... Are Taichi Yagami, correct?"  
  
Tai nodded his head. "Tai... Before I begin to say spooky things that mean nothing now but will turn out to be a key element later, there's something I have to ask... Have you EVER looked at 'Yagami' backwards?" Tai shook his head. "Backwards, Yagami is 'im a gay'. Okay, now that I've pointed that out... It's time to say spooky things that mean nothing now but... Well, I think you get the idea." Then Tai scratched his head. "Normally I'd think that you were a... uh... patient here, but you know my name, and I know I've never seen you before." The man laughed. "Of course not. I am the man behind everything. I only make my move when all else has failed. I am the one behind everything, the ruler of evil, master of guns, creator of the Ikagu... I am Judecca A. Gunner!" Tai scratched his head again. "What're Ikagu?" Judecca laughed again. "The Ikagu are my new genetically altered race of digimon, far superior to the originals, and... Completely evil, of their own will, as well, I might add." Tai scratched his head. Judecca laughed. Tai scratched his head. Judecca laughed. Tai noticed that they were stuck in a rut. Judecca laughed. Tai began searching for the author to make him repair the storyline. Judecca laughed. Tai found the author. Judecca passed out from lack of air. Tai yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? Are you even AWAKE?!" The author opened his eyes. "Er... Kinda. Whaddya want?" "I want you to fix the storyline. NOW!" The author thought about it for a while, and then reached a decision. "Only if you... Uh..." The author looks out at the readers. "Damn... I was hoping I could rate this PG13... Um... Only if you promise you'll sleep with me later." Tai nodded his head. "Kay." And then, with a flash of light, the plot was restored, the storyline continued, and everything was sorta-kinda normal again.  
  
"Well, Tai. I'll be seeing you around..." Judecca grinned evilly, and then with a flutter of his cape-thingy, Judecca disappeared, and the scenery changed. "Wow... I'm not stuck in some weird part of the nuthouse I never knew existed anymore! I'm back here, in the weird part of the nuthouse I DID know existed!" Tai happily screamed (much like a girl, for your information) and then ran from the asylum after leaving a note of resignation behind.  
  
*** At Matt's place... ***  
  
"Uh... So... Matt..." Tai thought hard, and then got an idea. "Matt... Will you marry me?" He asked." "Yeah, it's about time you asked!" Tai smiled. "Good, since you don't want to marry me, you'll let me move in, ri..." Tai's eyes went wide. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?" He asked uncertainly. "I said yes. Hell, I've been in love with you since we met! I'm amazed you didn't see me all those times when I hid behind bushes to watch you... Um... Pee." Tai gasped. "Ah! Okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have!" Tai hugged Matt. "I'm so glad you were watching me!" Matt's eyes went wide, and he became very confused. "Huh?!" He questioned. "Well, I thought it was Sora, all those times... That girl is weird... Um... So, you actually meant what you said?" "Yes, I watched you piss, okay? Now can we just drop it?!" Tai shook his head. "Not that. The other thing, about the whole marrying me thing..." Matt nodded his head. "Yup. Might seem a little sudden to most people, but we'e already gone through all the other pivotal points in our relationship. We've even had sex." Tai scratched his head. "We have?"  
  
"Er... Well, in some of my more vivid dreams, yes..." Matt answered, his face red. "Soooo... Um... What should we do now?" Tai asked. "I don't know, you're the one who proposed." "Right..."  
  
*** Long, long ago (actually a few seconds after that) in a galaxy far, far away (Actually just a few blocks away) at Izzy's house... ***  
  
"Hiya, Joe." Izzy greeted his friend at the door. "Hi. I brought the game." Joe replied. "No way! You got it already?!" Joe nodded his head. "Yeah. The new version of the 'Let's Kill Barney' game." Izzy squealed in delight and ran to his bedroom, with Joe close behind. In seconds, Izzy had the cd in his computer and was starting up the game. "The complete version? With axes and grenades and bazookas and all that?" Izzy asked, his eyes not leaving the screen. "Yup." The program loaded, and Izzy quickly began to murder the large purple dinosaur, and then proceeded to mutilate what was left of his corpse. "Hahaha! This is even more fun than I had thought it would be!" Izzy grinned. "Yeah, well, he's dead. It's my turn now!" Joe complained, and the two boys switched places.  
  
Once they had both killed Barney several times, Izzy turned off the computer and handed Joe the game. "Um... Izzy?" Joe asked. "Yeah?" Joe blushed slightly and focused on the floor with great intensity. "Well... I was hoping I could maybe stay here overnight... And... Well... There's something I want to tell you... Not now, but later... Kay?" Izzy nodded his head. "Sure. Whaddya wanna do?" Joe shrugged his shoulders and began looking around the room. "Well... We could watch a movie or something." Joe suggested. "Okay. How about Godzilla Versus Ghidra? (Ack... Been so long since I've seen one of the old, good Godzilla movies, I don't even remember how to spell the big three headed dragons name...)" "Nah. I've seen that one too many times recently. I need a break from it. How about... Titanic?" Izzy looked at Joe as if he was crazy. "What?!" "Er... Snatch?" Izzy shrugged his shoulders. "What's it about?" He asked. "Well, it's about a bunch of gangsters, and they're all after some diamond, and Brad Pitt has his shirt off, and... Ignore that last thing I said."  
  
*** At Cody's house... ***  
  
"Armadillomon! Digivolve to... Anteatermon!" Cody yelled. "Look, Cody, I can't do that, alright? There is no 'Anteatermon'." Then Anteatermon walked into the room. "I resent that." It said, and wandered off in search of a mound of Termitemons. "Well, whatever, I can't digivolve into Anteatermon, okay?" Cody frowned. "Armadillomon, digivolve to Porcupinemon!" Armadillomon shook his head. "I can't do that either, Cody." Cody frowned again. "Armadillomon, don't give me a piggy-back ride." Armadillomon shook his head. "I can't do that. No, WAIT!" Cody smiled and jumped onto Armadillomon's back. "Giddyup, Armadillomon!"  
  
*** Somewhere off in the distance (or perhaps just at TK's place)... ***  
  
"No way, Kari." Kari's lip trembled. "But... I thought you loved me?" Kari pleaded. "No way. You are NOT getting the last cookie. Besides, if you don't stop eating so much, you'll get fat." Kari glared at TK. "Takeru, you give me that cookie or I'll take it from you, and if I have to take it from you, you're getting a faceful of fist!" Yolei applauded. "You tell him, girl!" Kari stopped yelling at TK and turned to look at Yolei. "Huh?" Then music started coming from out of nowhere. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me....." Yolei began singing. "Wow. Yolei's changed." Kari muttered. "Mff mu mfrd fhl (translation: she's a weird girl)" TK said with a mouth full of chocolate chip cookie. "TK! YOU ATE MY COOKIE!" Tk shook his head. "My cookie." He managed to say while swallowing the remains of the cookie. "TK, either you get me another cookie, or I..." Kari turned to look at Yolei, and decided Yolei was too busy singing to pay attention to her. "Get me another cookie or I won't sleep with you tonight!"  
  
TK shrugged his shoulders. "That's okay. I'll just go over to Davis' house." Kari became enraged. "WHAT?! You'd rather go hang out with that loser than spend time with me?!" She shrieked. "Yup." Kari glared at TK. "How can being with HIM be better than being with ME?" She demanded. "Well, for one thing, I actually LIKE sleeping with him, and I can't say the same for you. And then..." Kari cut TK off by slapping him. "Hey, you hit like a girl!" Then Kari reached around TK and grabbed a nearby brick, which she hit him with. "A butch... Lesbian girl... Owwww...." TK mumbled. "That hurt... I'm getting out of here. Bye!" He said before running out the front door.  
  
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T..." Yolei continued singing, and then Kari hit her with the brick. "Stop singing, my boyfriend is leaving me for another guy!" Kari hissed. "Wow. Tough luck, sister. Now, if ya wanna get him back, just take a little advice from..." Kari cut Yolei off again by knocking her unconcious with the brick. "I am not your sister. So just stop it."  
  
*** At Davis' house... ***  
  
There was a knock at the front door. "I'll get it!" Davis' mom shouted, running for the door. "Why hello, uh... Little kid with the blond hair and funny hat..." Davis' mother greeted TK. "Uh, hi... Mrs.... Uh... weird lady who has a fetish concerning opening doors..." Davis' mother glared at TK. "I do not! That was all disproved in the trial!" She defended herself, and then TK went to Davis' room and walked inside. "AH! DAVIS! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!" TK gasped in horror. Davis turned towards TK. "What? What'd I do?" TK ran towards Davis and moved his pawn back to its previous position. "Don't move your pawn, if you just move your bishop over... here..." TK moved Davis' bishop. "Hey! Checkmate!" Davis exclaimed happily.  
  
Ken frowned. "Well, you won that time, but you'll have to beat me 43 more times before you are ahead of me by so much as 1 game." Then TK turned and looked at Ken. "Hmmm... Ken, you weren't doing anything other than playing chess, were you?" TK queiried suspiciously. "Well... Alright, yes, I'll admit it. We did." TK gave Davis a hurt look. "Davis, I told you to wait until I got here so we could have a threesome..." Davis leaned forward and kissed TK. "Sorry. If it'll make up for it, we can have a threesome now..." He suggested. "Well... Alright. But don't let it happen again."  
  
........ Yikes. I don't know what I've been writing. I have no memory of what has happened since about the first paragraph. Well... Lemme know if it was any god, kay? Revieeeeeeew!!! Um... I'll get the next chapter up soon. Hopefully it will have Judeca in it. Oh, wait... Judecca was in this one, wasn't he? Well, he's the major villain of this fic, so he'll be in all of the chapters. Um... Bye. (revieeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!) 


	2. Sex, Singing, and Poetry?!

Hmmm... That last chapter seemed a little... Strange... Well, now I'm not tired, and I'm capable of coherent thought, and I actually have a semi-good idea, soooooo... Hopefully this chapter will be far better than the first. Ready? Here 'tis....  
  
  
  
Matt's place  
11:15 AM  
Sunday  
  
Tai glanced around quickly to make sure Matt wasn't anywhere nearby, and then looked int the camera. "I have discovered a new being, a new creature so strange that it defies nature itself. I have labelled it Matteus Sex-starvedus. This creature is well known for its amazing looks, which have been known to stop both man and woman in their tracks. Matteus is a high-maintenance creature. It requires lots of very hot, very spicy foods, and can often be seen with its mate, Taitus Super-cuteius. Matteus Sex-starvedus enjoys sex very much, and is often heard saying..." Then Matt walked into the room. "Tai? Er... Can I see you in the bedroom?" Tai nodded his head. "Yes. Matteus has once again begun his mating ritual. HEY! Ow! Stoppit!" Tai yelled as Matt grabbed his ear and pulled him into the bedroom.  
  
*** Cody's place ***  
  
Cody looked at Armadillomon. Armadillomon looked at Cody. Cody looked at Armadillomon. Armadillomon looked at Cody. Cody glanced at a piece of wood nearby. Armadillomon looked at Cody. Cody picked up the piece of wood. Armadillomon looked at Cody. Cody hit Armadillomon with the piece of wood, knocking him unconcious. "I win. That'll teach you to challenge me to a staring contest..."  
  
*** Davis' place ***  
  
"Wow. That was great! Let's do it again!" Davis suggested happily. "We can't." TK informed him. "Why not?" TK pointed at Ken. "You've exhausted poor Ken. You fucked the fuck out of him." Davis thought carefully. "Well... We don't need to have a threesome. It'll just be you and me..." TK shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, sounds good to me. But... What are we going to do about Ken?" Davis looked over at Ken, who was beginning to snore. "Um..." Davis thought hard once more, and then pushed Ken off the bed. "Hey, don't you think that was a little rude?" Davis shook his head. "Nope. He had a soft landing. Veemon, Wormmon and Patamon broke his fall." Little squeaking sounds came from under Ken. Ken mumbled something and rolled over, off of the digimon. "See? Now everyone's fine. And we can get down to business..."  
  
(Jeez... I guess I've kinda got sex on the brain, eh? Well, I suppose I'll move on to other things, now...)  
  
*** Back at TK's place ***  
  
Yolei snored, asleep on the floor. "R-E-S... *Snore*... P-E-C-T... *Snore*..." Kari glared down at Yolei. "If you won't help me, then I'm going to get TK back myself! He's mine, all mine, and no brain-dead boy can steal him from me!" Kari snarled, enraged at the thought. Then she ran out the front door. When she got to Davis' house, she knocked on the door, and Davis' mom opened it. "Oooh... That felt great!" Davis' mother exclaimed. Kari sighed. "Getting off on opening doors again, huh?" Then Davis' mom glared at Kari. "No! That was disproved in the trial, why can't you people just forget about it?! Well, you can't be here to see Davis, he has no interest in females, so what do you want?" "TK." Kari replied. "Who's TK?" Davis' mom asked. "Er... The kid with the blond hair and the funny looking hat?" Davis' mom nodded her head. "Oh, right. Him. He's in Davis' room."  
  
Kari wandered around the house until she found Davis' room, and then flung open the door. "TK, I'M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHAN..." Kari's jaw dropped when she saw TK and Davis. "Oh... My.. God..." She gasped. "Uh... Go away?" Davis offered. "I... I... I... TK... Davis... Bed... Together... Uh... Uh... Oh... Um..." Then Kari fainted. "Aw, great, now one of us is going to have to go get the door..." Davis complained. "Hey, KEN! Wake up and close the door!" But before Ken could close the door, Davis' mom happened to walk by and look inside. "Oh, I see you boys are having fun. Well, I'll just close the door so you can have a little privacy." She smiled happily, closing the door and walking away. "Hmmm... I think mom got into the anti-depressant drugs again..." Davis mused.  
  
*** Izzy's place ***  
  
"Brad Pitt IS pretty hot... Uh... Er... I mean... Well, he's near the equator right now, so he's probably getting a little hot... That's what I meant... Uh... Yeah..." Izzy said nervously. Joe hesitated before making his next move, and then took a chance. Joe kissed Izzy. Just a quick brush of his lips on Izzy's, but when he saw Izzy didn't pull away, he kissed him again. After a brief moment of shock, Izzy returned the kiss, and wrapped his arms around the blue-haired boy.  
  
*** Matt's place (Yikes... I'm getting dizzy from all this zipping around...) ***  
  
"Again? Not that I'm complaining or anything. But still, is sex all you ever think about?" Tai asked. Just then, a flash of light filled the room, momentarily blinding the two, and then the room became pitch dark. "What happened? Did the bulb blow or something?" Tai asked Matt. "I don't know." Then a small flicker of light appeared, and the two boys saw that it was coming from a lone candle on the wall. "Hey, there wasn't a candle there before..." Matt noted. Then more candles lit up the room, racks of them on each wall and even a few hanging from the ceiling on a chandelier that had never been there before. "Okay, this is getting a little creepy... How did all these candles get here?" Then something moved in the shadows, and Tai got a glimpse of out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, there's something over there!" He shouted, pointing at the shadow that had moved.  
  
For a few moments, there was an eerie silence, and then a shadowy figure jumped up out of the shadows in the corner of the room, landing in front of Tai and Matt. "Well, I just thought I'd make our second meeting a more interesting one. And of course it's my first time meeting Yamato." A familiar voice said. "Judecca?" Tai asked uncertainly. "Right on the nose." Judecca reached his right hand up and adjusted his glasses. "You know, I think I've given you people a long enough break. You've had three days to rest up for the big battle ahead, and you've had two days to warn the others about me, Taichi, but I noticed you haven't done so. You just passed me off as a bad dream, or something, I suppose." Judecca laughed.  
  
"Well, I've decided that I will give you one last warning. The day that all will be decided draws nearer, and you have only a few days to prepare for it. Oh, I almost forgot... Before I go, I shall leave you an interesting bit of poetry, something that you should pay close attention to. Ready? Listen carefully...  
  
In the tomb beneath the shadowed sun  
lies the body of the defeated one.  
To awaken him takes a power undiscovered,  
you'd best be consulting old Mother Hubbard.  
Another spirit, dead as well  
dwells within his own private hell.  
The evil spirit, untamed and wild  
can be won over if treated as a child.  
Both forces, evil and good  
if brought together as they should  
will bring the power of the dangerous ones  
power down until there is none.  
One kept barely alive beneath the shadowed sun,  
by the powers of Frozen Lake Of Hell, Round One.  
The other lost in a dimension unknown,  
kept inside The Kelrishi Dome.  
To find them both, what you must do  
is find Dr. Zinfaield, 5482."  
  
Judecca grinned evilly. "Interesting, no? It contains so little, yet tells so much, reveals a great deal, but explains none. It is the only thing that will save you, but it is also almost as deadly as me. Haha! With that strange little bit of poetry, I shall leave..." Judecca turned towards the shadows he had come from, but then hesitated. "Oh, I feel terrible. I came into your home uninvited and didn't even do so much as bring a gift. Well, here's a parting gift - from me to you." Judecca grinned his widest grin yet as he turned towards Matt, pulled a gun from beneath his cape, and fired a solid gold bullet at Matt. The second the bullet hit its mark, a strange design around the tip glowed blue, and the back end of the bullet began spinning. "Goodbye, you two. Hopefully you'll be resourceful enough to save your boyfriend, there, Tai... Hahaha..." Judecca then disappeared, and all the candles followed, leaving behind the original lighting, a rather scared Tai, and an unconcious Matt.  
  
*** At the nearest hospital ***  
  
"Will he be alright? Tell me!" Tai demanded. "Well, we can't tell for sure, yet, but..." Tai cut the doctor off by grabbed the part of the doctors shirt nearest his neck and yanking him closer. "Look, doc, if Matt dies, I am not going to be very happy. If you want to live, I suggest you cut the crap and TELL ME!" Tai yelled, on the verge of hysteria. "Uh, well, um, he does seem to be doing well, from what I know... Could you let go of me now?" Tai looked into the shaking mans eyes, didn't move for a few moments, and then let him go. "Sorry... I guess I'm just in a bad mood..." The doctor nodded his head. "Perfectly understandable. Look, if you need anything, just ask a staff member for Dr. Zinfaield, okay?" Tai nodded his head absent-mindedly. "Alright." He mumbled. Then Tai finally processed that. "Dr. Zinfaield? That's the guy Judecca said to look for!" Tai looked around for the doctor, but couldn't see him anywhere.  
  
*** Cody's place ***  
  
Cody had just finished changing into a rather silly looking costume when his mother entered the room. She fell to the ground, unconcious from lack of air, after several minutes of laughter. Cody an over to her and began singing a song. "Ding, dong, the witch is dead..." He sang, and soon after, Armadillomon joined in.  
  
*** TK's place ***  
  
Yolei woke up suddenly. "Huh? What? She hit me with a brick! I'll have to teach her to have some..." A spotlight hit Yolei, and music began playing. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that's what she will have for me! R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that's what I will teach Kari!" Then the music changed, and Yolei began singing along with the new music. "... Get down tonight, get down tonight! Do a little dance..."  
  
*** Mimi's house ***  
  
"Bubbles, bubbles, toilet paper and stubble, cauldron churn the boiled butter! Filet of a funny steak, in the cauldron broil, nay spake. Pie of fruit and peg of mogg, dirty suit and tie of frog. For 8 alarm chili that's powerful grub-ble, like a chicken broth, spoiled and tumbled!" Mimi chanted, and then her cauldron exploded, leaving a greenish-orange goo all over the walls, ceiling and floor. "Eeeeewww..." Then there was a knock at her door. "Who is it?" Mimi asked as she opened the door. "Ja, I am beink Gretel, how are you doooooink?" Sora greeted Mimi. "Why, I'm doing fine. It's about time you came over here, I've been wanting to have you... For dinner..." Mimi then cackled evilly. "Alright, that was okay, so we'll use it in the film. But in the next few scenes, use more emotion!"  
  
Mimi was about to complain when a bright light suddenly appeared. A large circle of intense light appeared before the two, and they were both drawn to the light by a force they couldn't fight. Before they knew it, the light had disappeared, and they were in what looked to be a part of the digital world.  
  
*** TK's place ***  
  
"Everybody's freeeeeeeeeee to feel good!" Yolei shouted to the music, and then a bright white light appeared. Yolei froze and stared at the light, and the next thing she knew, she found herself staring at Sora and Mimi. "Black velvet if you pleeeeeease..." Yolei began singing. "Yolei? Why do you sing all of this stuff? I mean, Black Velvet is a great song, and I have a lot of respect for Aretha Franklin and all, but... Why?" Sora questioned the younger girl. "Well, I can only answer that in one way." New music started up, and Yolei began singing again. "Who can make the sun rise?" Sora scratched her head. "Hey, you aren't singing thay one song by Sammy Davis Jr., are you?" Yolei continued singing. "The candyman..." Sora nodded her head. "The Candyman." Mimi, who was tapping on a mirror she had found nearby, did not know of the song. "Candyman?" She asked. "Candyman." Sora confirmed. "Candyman..." Mimi tried to think of the song. "Candyman......." Yolei continued to sing. "Candyman!" Mimi shouted, finally remembering the song. "Candyman!" Sora agreed. "Candyman..." Yolei continued singing. Then a hook came out of nowhere, aiming for Mimi's head, but missed her as she bent over to pick up a penny.  
  
"Oh, shit! The candyman!" Sora shrieked, staring at the hook-handed, bee-covered man before them. Mimi, thinking fast (for once), began yelling something. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Then a ghost in a black and white striped suit appeared, and Sora rolled her eyes. "Can you say 'copyright infringement'?" She asked.  
  
*** Back in the real world, at Davis' place ***  
  
"Well, TK, that was some great sex, as usual." Davis smiled happily. "But, now that we've spent several days in bed, I think it's about time we did something else. No, wait... I changed my mind, get those clothes off!" But before TK and Ken could comply, a bright white light appeared in the room, and in seconds, the three boys and Kari were in the digital world witnessing a fight between the Candyman and Beetlejuice. "Oh, damn it! I can never get away from her and he singing!" TK complained, and then Davis, sensing that his boyfriend was not too thrilled about Yolei's singing, grabbed a brick and was about to hit her when she began singing a song he liked. All of the digidestined (except Tai, Matt, Izzy, Joe and Cody, who weren't there) stopped what they were doing and listened to Yolei.  
  
*She said "Uh, hey plowboy, dun ate half a cow   
and I can still hear your big ol' belly growl.  
So I steamed up a mess of fresh broccoli for you.  
Ya got cal'ries to burn and some pounds to lose."  
"Well, you can bring that broccoli with squirrel and dumplin's,  
'cause Cledus don't stop eatin' for nuthin'."  
She said "I've cooked non-stop in this house for weeks,  
time to get your big butt up find somewheres else to eat."  
(Yolei then paused to take a drink of water)  
I 'bout blowed out my colon from buffet jumpin',  
'cause Cledus don't stop eatin' for nuthin'."*  
  
Then she started singing off-key, and Davis knocked her out with the brick and comforted TK with a kiss, a hug, and a pat on the... Uhm... On to the next paragraph!  
  
*** Izzy's place ***  
  
The two boys finally stopped kissing, but didn't break their embrace. They stood there for several minutes, just holding each other and gazing into each others eyes. The silence was broken by the sound of laughter. The two looked around, trying to find the source of the laughter, but the last thing they saw before waking up in the digital world was the handle of a gun, coming down on first Izzy's head, and then Joe's.  
  
"Ow... My head..." Joe whined, rubbing his head, wincing when his fingers touched a the large bump protruding from his head. "Hey, hey, hey! Beetlejuice and Candyman should not be here! Are you TRYING to get the author sued?!" Izzy was heard yelling at Mimi. "Oh, alright, I'll make them go away." Then the ghost with the most and the... Uh... Guy covered in bees disappeared. "You happy now?" Izzy nodded his head. "I'd be happier if Joe... Oh, hi, Joe! You finally woke up, huh?" Joe nodded his head. "Yeah. My head hurts, too..." Izzy shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I can't think of any way to make it any better. Oh, wait... You know, I read somewhere that french-kissing can often help ease pain." Joe grinned. "Well, I'll try anything once. And maybe twice. But if it's really good, I might not even be able to stop the first time."  
  
*** The hospital ***  
  
Tai finally spotted Dr. Zinfaield and grabbed his arm. "Hey! You have to come with me!" Dr. Zinfaield gave Tai a strange look. "Why?" "Dr. Zinfaield, do you remember the monsters that attacked a few years ago? That could happen again if you don't come with me." Dr. Zinfaield frowned. "Call me Valn. Now, if you know about those monsters, I'd assume that either means you are one of the digidestined, or you work for Judecca..." Tai shook his head. "Definitely not Judecca. I am one of the original digidestined, though." Valn nodded his head. "I thought so. Come with me, we must get to your friend." "Matt? Why?" Valn sighed and ran a hand through his ebony colored hair. "Well, we're going to the digital world. Hopefully we aren't too late..."  
  
"Matt! Wake up! We have to go to the digital world to stop Judecca. I found Dr. Zinfaield! Just call him Valn, though. Come on, we have to go to the digital world!" Matt woke up only to be bombarded with that and much, much more information. "Ah, hey, slow down... I just got shot, you know." Tai rolled his eyes. "Matt, if you can recover from having sex 40 times a day and then do it again the next day, you can recover from a bullet wound. Now let's go!" Matt sighed, shook his head, and got out of the hospital bed. "Alright... Do you think I could put some clothes on first?" Matt asked. "Actually, I was hoping you'd just take off what you have on, but if you really want to wear clothes, go ahead."  
  
After Matt had gotten dressed, Valn pulled something resembling a digivice from his pocket, pressed a sequence of buttons on it, and then a portal to the digital world appeared in front of them.  
  
*** Cody's place ***  
  
"Look, kid, I'm going to ask you one more time - where is your mother?" "Follow the yellow brick road!" Cody shouted in a comical, high-pitched voice. "You're hopeless... Well, since you won't answer me, I'm leaving." The second the pizza guy turned around, a white light appeared in front of Cody and Armadillomon, and the next thing they knew, they were in the digital world.  
  
*** The digital world ***  
  
"Todo, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Cody informed Armadillomon, who promptly barked in response. "Maybe if I click my shoes together and say 'there's no place like home', we'll go home." Cody mused, but then forgot about the idea when he saw the other digidestined, and their digimon who had recently shown up, staring at him oddly. "Aw, jeez, I was just having a little fun..." Cody complained. "Why does everybody have to act like I'm a psycho when I do that?" Yolei stood up and rubbed her head, and then continued her singing.  
  
"Well, uh, you're wearing that weird outfit and... Actually, you look exactly like one of those guys from The Wizard Of Oz." Davis pointed out, and then he turned and glared at Yolei. "Damn it, Yolei, shut UP!" Davis shouted at the ever-annoying Yolei, and then a house came out of nowhere and hit Yolei on the head, knocking her out again and stopping her singing. "Alright... Izzy, you have your laptop, so... Do you know anything about 'the shadowed sun?'" Tai asked. Izzy shook his head. "No, I don't have any idea what it is. There might be something about it on the internet..." Izzy opened his laptop and began typing something on the keyboard. After several moments of silence, Izzy closed his laptop and looked up at Tai. "Tai? How did you hear about The Shadowed Sun?" Izzy asked. "Well, this weird grey-haired guy popped up and said something about it. Why?" Izzy sighed and shook his head. "Well, if what you're saying is true, then you have met the one living being tougher than all of our previous enemies put together. One theory of how the digital world was created goes something like this;  
  
*Long ago, in a time before most dimensions, universes and Ka-eltherias had shown any signs of having intelligent lifeforms, a random bit of matter was caught between dimensions. The 'matter' formed into a mini-dimension, something so fragile and unready to possibly exist as a 'universe' that it consisted only of wire frames. Another, much smaller bit of matter somehow ended up in that 'world' and split in half. One half of the matter became a powerful being pure of heart, incapable of doing evil. That being was supposedly so purely good that it has never been given a name, as no names were thought to be worthy of it. The other half became a being who went by the self-given name of Judecca A. Gunner. The second being, Judecca, was as evil as the other being was good, but unable to move in a world with no structure. Once the good being had shaped the 'world' between dimensions into what we now know as the digital world, Judecca was awakened, and free to move around the world. While the good being created good digimon, Judecca changed the fabric of the world, changing it into data instead of matter. Once Judecca had succeeded in changing the 'worlds' substance, he then began creating a virus. Once he had finished his virus, he hacked into the 'world' and placed the virus into every string of data. The virus is so cleverly disguised that it is impossible to spot it. The good being noticed that something was going wrong with the digimon, and managed to insert itself into the data, spreading itself among each string, counteracting the virus. That is, by the way, how the different types of digimon were created. Data when Judecca altered the substance, Virus type digimon were born when he inserted his virus, and vaccine digimon were born when the good being sacrificed himself to save the digital world. But with the good being out of the way, Judecca was free to do as he pleased. Fortunately for the digital world, the good beings power was enough to counteract almost everything Judecca did, so he has only been successfuly with a few minor things, aka Devimon, Apokarimon (Authors Note - I think I spelled that right), and all of the other truly evil digimon we've encountered. Now Judecca has managed to bust through to other worlds by use of some devices he created a while ago and managed to push through the fabric of the digital world into several other universes. Um... So basically, what I'm saying is, Judecca created computers to get back and forth between the digital world and other worlds. In the other worlds, Judecca was able to cause all kinds of evil, and nothing could stop him. So since he has invented computers, he's been bringing bits of data into our world and shaping them into evil digimon to let loose in the digital world. And we've stopped him from succeeding, so he is probably planning on killing us all now. Oh, I almost forgot what I was supposed to be talking about... In the beginning, when he was creating his virus, he used a huge castle he had built as his home base, a place where not even the 'good being' could enter. That castle is called The Shadowed Sun, and nobody would even know its name if it wasn't for ancient documents left behind by the first digimon.*  
  
So, basically, its a big castle an evil digimon lived in." Izzy summed it all up. "Um... That was long, Izzy. Couldn't you have just said it was a big castle?" Tai asked. "Hehe... Sorry... I got a little carried away." Izzy apologized. "Well, actually, he did say his name was Judeca A. Gunner. So that could have been him... Aw, this is just great, now we have to fight the digital worlds version of Satan." Tai sighed as he sat down on the ground and began to think of a plan. "Uh-oh." Matt lifted an eyebrow. "Tai's trying to think. We could be here for days!" Tai glared up at Matt, and Matt knelt down and kissed Tai. "Matt, we can't have sex here." Tai informed him. "Hey, is that what you think of me? You think I only care about sex? Sex isn't all I'm about. I like kissing you, too." Tai narrowed his eyebrows and stared at Matt. "Really?" Matt nodded his head. "Yeah." "Then why is it that the only time you ever kiss me is before you drag me into the bedroom?" Tai asked. "Because though I like kissing you, I still like sex alot, and as you've said before, we're only actually out of the bedroom for a few minutes at a time. Or, in other words, I spend a lot of the time we aren't in bed kissing you."  
  
"Good answer." Tai said, standing up and kissing his boyfriend. "Well, it's true. Of course, if you prefer kissing to sex, I could just stop dragging you off into the bedroom, as you put it." Tai shook his head. "You don't have to do that. I know how much it means to you." Matt grinned. "Yeah, sure. You like sex just as much as I do. Every time we get in bed, I'e noticed you never fail to get a har..." Kari clamped a hand over each boys mouth. "Stop it. It was gross enough when you mentioned Tai and sex in the same sentence, but now it is going WAY too far." Kari glared at Tai first, and then Matt, and then took her hands off of their mouths. "-don." Matt finished. "MATT!" Kari yelled accusingly. "Stop that already! Look up there!" Kari said angrily, pointing up at this and the previous paragraphs. "You two have been talking about sex for the past two paragraphs! It's gone on long enough!" Matt suppressed a laugh. "It's gone on what?" Kari glared at him. "Long enough!" Matt suppressed another laugh. "The what is mightier than the sword?" He asked. "Pen is!"  
  
"When the mouse ran down the clock, it went hickery what-ery dock?" Kari gave Matt a very evil look. "Dick!" Matt couldn't hold it in any longer, and bust out laughing. "You aren't supposed to be this immature, Matt! Look at your brother, he's being mature!" Kari pointed at TK, and then turned to actually see what TK was doing. "What is the first name of the high commander from Third From From The Sun?" TK asked Davis. "Dick." Davis replied, and TK fell to the ground, laughing. "Okay, so he isn't... But still, you should be more mature than this!"  
  
Will the digidestined ever stop thinking about sex? Will they ever try to stop Judecca? Will the digital world be destroyed, or will it be saved, and all traces of Judecca's evil eliminated? Well, wait for the next chapter, and you might find out. Either that or the male digidestined will start going at it like rabbits AGAIN. (Don't forget to review!) Bye! 


End file.
